


that's intense, doc

by meribiaa (lividlillies)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 19:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6870880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lividlillies/pseuds/meribiaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Tanaka, talking about boys kissing boys is surprisingly easy. Talking about himself kissing boys—or one boy, in particular? Not so easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	that's intense, doc

They’re kissing. It doesn’t seem so unusual these days.

The last light of the day streams in through the bars of the window to the equipment room.

Tanaka is on his knees between Noya’s spread legs. Noya’s face is cupped in his hands. He leans in, kissing him deeper, tasting the sweat on Noya’s upper lip.

His concentration narrows, like it does on the court, but this time to the places where their bodies touch and intersect.

He sighs happily into Noya’s mouth, feels a smile in return.

Noya doesn’t seem to think of it as strange, not if the tight grip he has on Tanaka’s waist is any indication. Tanaka’s shirt feels thin from absorbing the sweat from practice and Noya’s hands are hot, sure, and strong, pressing through the damp fabric. Noya might know as much about this as Tanaka—that is to say, not much at all—but his hands, as always, know what they should be doing and with how much strength.

Noya’s tongue licks at Tanaka’s lower lip before he pulls it between his teeth, worrying it just this side of rough. It’ll be swollen and bruised by the time he’s done with it, Tanaka knows.

After a few more minutes of kissing and fondling each other, they pull apart. Neither is ready to take it further, for all they’ve been doing this for weeks. More than that, though, the idea of walking home with soiled underwear stays their hands from wandering any lower than they have.

Tanaka moves to sit beside Noya, staring out at the dark and crowded equipment room. The balls are in their respective bins, the bins are in their usual places, the pylons stacked, the mats piled, and the brooms—Tanaka’s eyes catch on the broken one. The one Noya had broken.

Without meaning to, he says: “Do you think that’ll happen to us?”

He pulls his legs up closer to his chest and rests his arms on his knees, hands dangling on the other side. His posture screams relaxed, casual, but suddenly he’s feeling too much too fast.

Noya doesn’t catch his meaning right away, asking, “huh?” before following Tanaka’s gaze. He scoffs, and Tanaka looks at him.

His face is still heated, a little blotchy, and his eyes shine. Tanaka wonders what it’d feel like to pat his hair down, all those flyaway and sweaty strands.

“No way,” Noya says, drawing out the last syllable as he reclines, stretching out his legs. “Besides, that was all Asahi-senpai’s fault.”

Tanaka considers that.

Noya turns his quick gaze back on Tanaka. “Why?” he asks, the word sharp. “Worried?”

Tanaka tilts his head to the side. Tries to imagine either of them being that angry, or that unable to express themselves to the other. It’s difficult.

He grins. “Not really.”

Noya scoffs again, but it sounds pleased.

“I wonder why Suga-san wanted to keep it,” Tanaka says. “He said, ‘maybe it can still be used for something’. Like what?”

The day has been long, they’re both tired, so they sit quietly and brainstorm possible ideas.

Tanaka stands, stretches, then crosses the room in a couple of strides. He picks up the bottom half of the broom and twists the end off, then holds it up for Noya.

“Kendo practice?” he suggests, already starting to laugh.

“Ryuu!” Noya exclaims, scandalized, as he jumps to his feet. “You could hurt yourself using it like that!”

Tanaka tosses him the other half, and Noya catches it, widening his stance like he’s about to take Tanaka on in mortal combat. They both laugh.

Noya had been joking, but swinging around jagged pieces of wood in a tight, cramped, dark room really _was_ dangerous, which somehow only made it more fun. Eventually they stopped, out of breath from their laughter and exertion, and finally locked up like they said they would.

#

“So, Suga-san,” Tanaka says, sidling up to him the next day at afternoon practice. Noya notices, grins, and drops what he was doing to come over and participate in the mischief he senses Tanaka is about to get into.

Suga looks up from the note he was taking, brown eyes blinking like gears switching, and makes a noise of inquiry.

Tanaka smiles slyly. “Do you often have duels in the equipment room?” he asks, and Noya bites his lip. Tanaka can practically hear the ‘good one, Ryuu!’.

“Huh?”

“You know,” Tanaka elaborates, grinning. “With Daichi—after we’re all gone, I’m sure—the wood between your hands—”

Suga first goes pale, and then bright red. He stammers something Tanaka can’t make out.

Daichi, having finished correcting Hinata’s receives, notices their group and comes over to join them, slinging an arm over Suga’s shoulder. Suga jumps guiltily at the touch.

Daichi looks confused, then, for a second—a little hurt. But no, Tanaka thinks, he must have imagined that. He moves on.

“We were just asking Suga-san about your one-on-one duels in the equipment room,” he says, snickering.

It was a measure of what good upperclassmen they were that they both got so embarrassed at being caught out play-fighting. Daichi, like Suga, goes pale, then red, then robotically drops his arm from around Suga’s shoulders.

“Uh,” says Daichi.

“Um,” says Suga.

Tanaka can’t keep it in, he laughs, and Noya laughs with him. He clutches his stomach. “I can’t believe it! You two are always so responsible, and you were using the brooms for fighting like a couple of kids!”

Between his and Noya’s laughter, he notices, distantly, two things:

  1. Daichi and Suga aren’t laughing.
  2. Daichi and Suga are both going through a complex series of facial expressions, starting with shock, moving through comprehension, horror, embarrassment, anger, and ending on mortification.



No, that’s not quite right. They school their expressions back to polite neutrality in unison, like they’ve trained for it.

Tanaka doesn’t know if Noya noticed, and he’s not sure if he understands what _he’s_ just noticed. He and Noya finish laughing, going back to the court.

It’s as he’s walking away that it hits him. He stops mid-step, slowing turning his head to look over his shoulder at Suga, who seems to have sensed this, and is mirroring Tanaka, slowly turning his head to look over his shoulder at Tanaka.

They stare at each other.

Suga looks like he’s sweating.

They keep staring at each other.

Tanaka begins to wonder if this is real, if this is happening, and if Suga is wondering the same.

After practice, Suga stops Tanaka and Noya from leaving with the others. When they’re the last ones left, he puts a hand on both their shoulders. Solemnly stares them down.

“I’ll buy your silence,” he says at last.

They stand there, connected by Suga’s hold on them, for a long, uncomfortable moment. Tanaka supposes that this was, after all, a pretty private thing to stumble on by chance. Before he can wave it away, say he’d never dream of it, or deny knowing what Suga’s talking about, Noya jumps up and out of Suga’s hold.

“Three ice creams!” he shouts, looking pleased at the idea.

Well, if they’re doing it like that.

Tanaka brings a hand to his chin, hums.

“Once ice cream, and two meat buns,” he decides.

Noya stares at him. “I could’ve had both?!” he laments, not noticing, Tanaka guesses, the strange way Suga is studying them.

Finally, Suga sighs, and a brief, uncharacteristic smile forms, like he’s pleased at how easily and cheaply they’ve been bought out, but unhappy that he’s had to do it in the first place.

“But on one condition,” Tanaka says, surprising all of them. Noya leans in, interested. Tanaka finds himself, inexplicably, blushing. “You have to tell us about it.”

“About…” Suga prompts, eyes widening with horror at his guess.

“ _It_ ,” Tanaka says, leaning in, and they all know what he means. It seems the entire day has been fraught with misunderstood innuendo, but they’re all finally—unhappily, in Suga’s case—on the same page.

Now Suga really looks horrified. He looks away, biting his lower lip as he considers. Whatever mental calculation he works through ends in Tanaka’s favour, and Suga gives a small, determined nod.

Tanaka feels the ground drop out from beneath him. He’s not sure what he just did.

They clean and lock up in a tense, almost surreal, silence. Tanaka intensely, intensely regrets everything, all of it, and feels guilt nibbling steadily at his conscience. But at the same time—

Two guys. Together. Kissing.

No one talks about that.

Now, someone _is_.

He bites his tongue before he can apologize and call the whole thing off.

They get to the store just before closing, grab their food, then find a bench not too far from it.

The night is just shy of warm, with a crisp not-quite-summer, not-quite-fall breeze that feels good after a long and sweaty practice. Distant houses cast an amber glow in the darkness, and the street lamps illuminate the last stragglers heading home.

As they eat, Suga sits with his head tilted back, looking at the stars, his hands clasped between his spread legs. A casual, confident posture, something Tanaka associates with the third years, but there’s a hint of tension in it, too, something that Suga’s trying not to show. The usual quick wit and quicker laughter is conspicuously missing.

The light from the store and the street lamps illuminate Suga at a good angle, and Tanaka understands Daichi a little better. You could call Suga beautiful in this light, in this pose. He imagines Daichi staring at him, thinking that he’s beautiful, wanting to kiss him.

Tanaka turns to look at Noya. Noya takes a large and noisy bite of his ice cream, stares back. They grin at each other.

“So,” Suga says, turning to look at the two of them with a smile that has more in common with a grimace than Suga’s usual smiles. “What do you want to know?”

It’s Noya that speaks.

“You’ve done it, right?”

Tanaka spits out his juice. Liquid dribbles from his chin as he looks back at Noya. Up until this point, he’d acted like he was just along for the ride.

Tanaka realizes, as he turns to look back at Suga, that sitting between them is going to lead to a sore neck.

Suga is staring at them with open-mouthed shock. Tanaka can’t blame him.

“Right?” Noya hedges, scooting forward.

“How would you know that?” Tanaka asks, feeling the need to buy their upperclassman some time. Anyway, he’s curious. How _does_ Noya figure that?

Noya tears open the packaging of his next and final ice cream.

“Daichi’s parents go out of town a lot,” Noya explains—sagely, in Tanaka’s opinion. “I heard him and Asahi-senpai talking about it. Said his mom freezes leftovers for him. Anyway, Daichi seems like the serious and responsible type, but he’s not a block of wood, he’d totally invite his boyfriend over in that situation, wouldn’t he?” He takes another bite of ice cream, says around the food, “I mean, who wouldn’t?”

Tanaka turns to Suga for confirmation.

Suga is bright red even in the dim light.

“That’s… true,” he admits.

“So?” Noya asks. “What’s it like!”

Suga hesitates for a long moment. Looks at the ground. Looks at the sky. Looks out to the road, at a passing car, like he’s wishing he could jump in front of it.

“Maybe that’s diving too deep,” Tanaka says. “Maybe start with something, uh… Like, how did you guys—I mean when did you—or—are you even—?”

“That’s a bit easier to answer,” Suga laughs, turning back to them with eyes that sparkle with relief. “We, uh, where to start?”

Tanaka and Noya settle in for the story.

“We met in first year, obviously, through the club. Daichi was already a really, hm…” Suga laughs nervously, picks at a loose thread on his pant leg. Blushes. “Well, he was handsome, though not as buff as he is now, and easy going, and already really responsible—oh, _god_ , I can’t believe I’m saying all this out loud!”

Suga covers his face with his hands, bends over.

Tanaka is spellbound.

Noya, apparently—for all that he had demanded sex stories—is, too, and climbs onto the bench’s table to sit cross-legged beside Tanaka.

“Go on,” Noya says, voice hushed.

Suga looks up, an odd expression forming.

Tanaka feels something twist inside of him. Suga, he realizes, has never expected to tell this story out loud to anyone.

Suga gives a watery smile, then chuckles. “Alright… Well,” he settles visibly into the telling. “Back in first year, Daichi had a bunch of friends from his Jr High, Michimiya-san in particular.” Suga bites his lip in chagrin. “I was so jealous. I thought, ‘How can I compete with her? She’s cute, athletic, completely his type. She’s a _girl’_. And, it was, I mean. It was the childhood friend trope! How do you compete with that?”

Noya, ever the appreciative audience, hollers.

“How _did_ you compete with that?”

Suga grins, looking satisfied.

“Well, I had an advantage because we were in the same club. I think the moment that really sunk in for me was at winter training camp of our first year. I drew the short straw for the last bath, and Daichi volunteered to take it with me.”

“He _volunteered_?”

Suga covers his mouth with his hand for a moment. “It seems pretty scandalous in hindsight,” he admits. “But at the time it was just classically responsible and polite Daichi.”

Tanaka and Noya both nod sagely.

Suga continues. “And that was when I appreciated the fact that I had an arena Michimiya-san couldn’t compete in. Me and Daichi could share baths, put out futons side-by-side, take seats together on the bus, have sleepovers on Saturdays…” Suga trails off, looking away, at the empty street. In a quieter voice, one that Tanaka isn’t sure is meant for them, he says. “At the time, I thought that’s all I’d ever have.”

Tanaka stares at him, suddenly seeing how empty that victory would feel, how simultaneously hopeless, exciting, and intense it would be.

He doesn’t look at Noya.

“Who confessed?” asks Noya, just before the moment stretches on too long.

“That was in second year,” Suga says, grateful for an easy question to answer. “I got a love note in my shoe locker.”

“ _Oooooh_!” Tanaka and Noya both exclaim in unison. Now this was what they were here for.

“You never told us that!” Tanaka says, thinking back over last year.

“And you’ll see why,” Suga shoots back.

“Because it was Daichi?” Noya asks.

“It wasn’t, actually. He happened to see me take it out, though. It was just the two of us at the end of the day.

‘A love note?’ he’d said.

‘Looks like it,’ I said.

And then he got really quiet and thoughtful, and because I wanted it to be from him, I asked him:

‘How would you confess to someone? Would you send a letter?’

‘No,’ Daichi said.”

Suga is suddenly blushing again. Tanaka holds his breath, feeling the tension of the moment, of the tightrope their relationship had teetered on, the amount of trust and courage it would take to leap forward.

“’I’d say it in person,’ Daichi said.

Then, I don’t know why, I asked him,

‘What would you say?’

And Daichi swallowed, and he stared at me, and said, ‘Suga, I like you.’

And we just stood there. Was it a confession, or did just add my name for demonstration? So I said,

‘And if I said, “Daichi, I like you, too,” then what?’

And he stepped forward, and, finally, he was blushing as much as I was, and then he said, ‘I’d kiss you.’

And we—I thought we were going to stand there, frozen, for a million years, but then Daichi ducked in and kissed me on the lips, right there in front of the shoe lockers, even though anyone could walk by.”

Suga is looking straight ahead, at the town and the sky beyond it. Darkness has settled completely around their group as they talked, and Suga seems suddenly small.

“I’m gonna cry,” Noya finally says, breaking the silence.

Tanaka turns to him, eyes stinging. “Me too.”

“You’re already crying!” Noya shouts.

“ _You’re_ already crying!” Tanaka shouts back.

Suga turns back to them and laughs. The laugh sounds strangely wet.

“It’s odd,” Suga says. “Telling a story like this. I… didn’t want to, at first, but now I’m glad.” He looks back at the horizon again. “I got to have a conversation like this with my kouhai after all.”

Now Tanaka and Noya are really crying in earnest. They swoop Suga into a hug.

When they all part, coughing and laughing awkwardly, Noya speaks up.

“So, about that sex story.”

Suga groans.

#

The next day, after practice, Suga goes on and Daichi stays behind. Tanaka is a little disappointed—he had hoped to use the equipment room with Noya, and not for sword fighting, either.

When they’ve locked up and made their tired way to the store, Daichi finally speaks up.

“Suga says it’s my turn.” He doesn’t seem pumped by the idea.

“We’re getting snacks from you, too?” exclaims Noya, jumping up and spreading his arms. “I’ll have two ice creams and one meat bun!”

“I’ll have two meat buns and one ice cream,” Tanaka says, repeating his order from the night before.

“You guys really don’t mess around, do you?” Daichi says with a sigh and a shake of his head. He dutifully pulls out his wallet, double checking his cash. “I have enough for two snacks each. You’ll have to cull the herd. What’s it gonna be?”

Tanaka trusts Daichi not to lie to save a couple bucks, so he doesn’t protest, just tilts his head to the side and considers. “Two meat buns,” he says at last.

“Two ice creams,” Noya says, nodding sagely.

“Planning on sharing?” Daichi asks. They’re almost there.

“Probably not,” Tanaka says, just as Noya says, “No way!”. They both laugh.

“So,” Noya says later, mouth full. They’re back on the bench from last night, and Noya is sitting on the top again, clearly anticipating story time. “We hear you’re a real romantic.”

Daichi’s jaw drops.

“Yeah,” Tanaka agrees, snickering. “Wining and dining! Impressive!”

“So adult!” Noya says, chewing loudly.

“There wasn’t any wine!” Daichi exclaims.

“So responsible,” Noya and Tanaka say together.

“Geez,” Daichi says, scratching the back of his head. “What did Suga tell you guys?”

“About spending last winter break at your house while your parents were on vacation,” Noya supplies, sighing gustily. He leans into Tanaka’s shoulder with almost his entire weight. “So romantic, huh, Ryuu?”

“Dreamy,” Tanaka agrees.

“Daichi, regular dreamboat,” Noya says, snickering a little.

Tanaka leans back into Noya. Puts his fingers to his chin like a detective considering a puzzle.

“Not what I expected from our pragmatic captain, but somehow… that makes it more impressive.”

Noya folds his arms across his chest and nods gravely. “Absolutely. I concur.”

Daichi is still staring at them like he’s not sure what’s happening, or how he came to be in this situation. There’s a question in his eyes, but he puts it away, and Tanaka wonders if he imagined it. His expression transforms into something soft, affectionate.

Tanaka is reminded of Suga saying he got to have this type of conversation after all. Maybe, he thinks, this wasn’t about snacks at all.

“So,” Daichi says, looking like he’s steeling himself for what comes next. “What do you wanna know?”

The conversation alternates between scandalizing details and admonishments to take sex seriously, be responsible, use protection.

“Suga-san didn’t send you down here to give us sex-ed!” Noya protests at one particularly painful and cringe-worthy lecture.

Daichi only chuckles, not put out in the slightest. “You know, I’m not entirely sure I understand why Suga had me talk with you anymore.” He folds his arms. “But I might as well take advantage of the opportunity.”

Tanaka gapes at him. “You’re enjoying this!”

“Your mortification?” Daichi grins. “I’m enjoying it immensely.”

Noya throws his head back and yells at the sky. Tanaka laughs. Ukai shouts at them to go home.

They go.

#

Tanaka goes home, has, as Ukai would put it, ‘a proper dinner’, a bath, and, finally, settles down. He’ll wake up early and do his homework tomorrow, he tells himself.

Laying on his bed, one hand behind his head, the other dangling over the edge of the bed, Tanaka thinks about Daichi and Suga.

He thinks about them kissing, first hesitatingly, shyly, like Daichi had probably kissed Suga in front of the shoe lockers. Then, kissing more boldly, deeply, hands on each other’s bodies.

He imagines Daichi leaning into Suga, hands cupping Suga’s face. Then Daichi leans in further, pushing Suga down on to—on to what, his mind stutters, until he imagines a bed.

He blushes.

Kissing on a bed. That’s—

So adult, he hears Noya say.

Daichi pulls Suga’s shirt off. They look at each other, faces flushed.

Tanaka wonders what the heck he’s doing.

His mind goes tumbling on, ignoring his reservations.

They’re licking into each other’s mouths, now, hands drifting lower. Suga arches his back, presses his groin tight against Daichi’s, looks at Daichi with his intense brown eyes lidded, but alert.

Daichi groans, overwhelmed.

Tanaka bites his lip. He feels—tight, stretched out. The hand dangling over the side of the bed slowly moves to the waistband of his shorts. Pulls at the strings.

He hesitates, ghosting his hand over the bulge of his erection through the fabric.

A sigh flutters out.

The Daichi and Suga in his mind are moving more quickly, with less precision. Tanaka’s half-formed expectations about sex are clumsily transposed onto the two of them.

He wonders if it’s weird to think about two guys—

Wonders if it’s weirder if you know them—

Wonders if it’s weird if you bully them into telling you about their sex life.

Shame washes over him.

Did Noya worry about what they had done? Maybe it was fine. Maybe it was informative for Noya, too.

He thinks about Noya, his hands tight on Tanaka’s hips in the equipment room, his hands hot through the damp fabric of shirt. That was just two days ago.

This is less weird, he thinks, pushing his shorts and underwear down.

He imagines Noya coming over, like he always does, and suddenly it’s not Suga being guided down toward the bed, it’s Tanaka.

Noya hovers over him, balanced on his forearms, mischief and eagerness bright in his eyes. He leans down, licking along Tanaka’s neck, smiling against the skin when Tanaka groans. Leans back out, looks at Tanaka, leans in again and kisses him on the lips.

They kiss, messily, eagerly, like they do in the equipment room. Noya licks into his mouth, tongue touching Tanaka’s tongue, sending a jolt through the both of them. He runs his tongue against the roof of Tanaka’s mouth, tickling, then swipes it against the back of Tanaka’s teeth.

Tanaka likes this, likes how Noya kisses him like breathing doesn’t matter, like Tanaka isn’t even a different person, that the space between them is just an inconvenience.

Noya sits back until he’s sitting on his haunches, braced against Tanaka’s thighs. He trails a hand down Tanaka’s chest, watches intently as it rises and falls with Tanaka’s breathing, then presses his hand against Tanaka’s dick, palming him.

Tanaka does that, too, as he thinks about it. The angle is wrong, but he ignores it.

Noya is eager, but devilish, takes his time getting warmed up, like he’s new to the whole hands-on-dicks thing.

“You ass,” Tanaka says.

“That’s later,” Noya says, laughing.

Tanaka grips himself, slowly dragging his hand up and down.

Noya would start slowly, maybe, then lean in and forget himself as he kissed Tanaka. He’d pick up speed, Tanaka thinks, doing the same.

He spreads his legs wide, clamps his eyes shut, and images crash through his mind, images of Daichi and Suga and Noya, Noya’s impish smile, the gleam in his eyes, his voice, goading him on—

Tanaka comes.

He’s reaching for the tissues before his mind even registers what he’s done, what he’d thought about.

He cleans himself off, tosses the tissue—accurately, sweet shot, Ryuu—into the trash, then turns to lay on his side, facing the wall.

He goes to sleep, doing his best to think about nothing, nothing at all.

#

Maybe it’s because Hinata spends a lot of lunches with Suga, and Suga brings to mind the topic, but one day, at lunch, Tanaka leans back and says:

“If Hinata kissed a boy, which would it be?”

It’s sunny, and they’re sitting outside, the jackets to their uniforms unbuttoned. Tanaka has already finished eating, but Noya chews another couple bites before swallowing and answering.

“Shouyou…? Hm. What about Tsukishima?”

“Tsukishima?!”

“Yeah,” Noya says. “Hear me out, man. Think of it like a manga—it’d be really, I dunno, satisfying? Like Tsukishima is tall and ‘cool’, Shouyou’s type, the smart guy that listens to, I dunno, English music, or something. And Tsukishima is always sneering at Shouyou and teasing him. What if that’s just to hide his true feelings? And Tsukishima would have to bend damn near in half to kiss Shouyou, so there’d be no mistaking that he’d want to do it.”

“I’m speechless,” Tanaka says after a long moment. Noya punches his shoulder. “And anyway, Hinata’s not that shor—”

“You know what I mean!” Noya hollers, throwing his hands up. Tanaka laughs.

“But if we’re going for Hinata’s type, wouldn’t that be,” Tanaka lowers his voice dramatically, “ _The Ace_? Asahi is tall, broad, muscled, got that wild older guy thing, really intense player when he gets into it.”

“Yeah,” Noya agrees, thoughtful. “He’s probably more Shouyou’s type. Good thinking. But,” he snickers. “How would that start? Is Shouyou the one to confess?”

They both holler with laughter, loud guffaws that draw attention.

“Shouyou would totally take charge,” Noya says through the tears he’s shed in laughter. “I bet Asahi-senpai wouldn’t even mind, he’d like it, I bet they’d be a really cute pair—”

“Super affectionate,” Tanaka agrees, still laughing, though not as loudly.

“Shouyou would bring him snacks, invite him to the movies.”

“Imagine—imagine them holding hands—” Tanaka says, gasping.

They holler again.

Noya struggles through his laughs. “Excuse me, sir, is that— _pft_ —is that your son?”

Tanaka throws himself to the ground and laughs and laughs and laughs.

#

Talking about Daichi and Suga and Hinata, and everyone else, they could do that. They could talk about other people kissing.

But they never talk about themselves.

Is there a rule about that?

Resting his head on his arms, Tanaka drifts off to sleep to the sounds of algebra, and wonders.

#

They’re kissing. It’s only been a couple days, but Tanaka has felt the absence of it. His hands are on Noya’s shoulders, and he closes his eyes, tilts his head to match Noya’s on instinct alone.

Tries not to think about last night, about Noya’s hands around him—

Shit, he’s thinking about it.

Noya doesn’t seem to notice, just glides his hands down to Tanaka’s waist, then around to squeeze his ass.

Tanaka feels Noya grin against his mouth. He wonders if it’s normal to want to punch and kiss someone at the same time.

Noya makes a noise low in his throat, and maybe if Tanaka hadn’t been so distracted by that, by trying to make it happen again, he would have registered the voices.

“Sorry to drag you back, Daichi, but Tanaka and Nishinoya mentioned it, and it kind of _is_ a safety hazard.”

“That’s fine,” Daichi says, just as Suga slides open the door to the equipment room.

Light spills across Tanaka and Noya. This, they register.

They split apart.

Suga and Daichi stare at them, speechless.

Color rises in all of their faces.

“This why you volunteered to lock up?” Suga says.

“This is why you wanted to know about our sex lives?” Daichi says, almost at the same time.

Daichi and Suga turn to stare at each other, then look back at Tanaka and Noya.

“Are you two dating?” Suga asks.

They don’t know how to answer.

It must show, and Daichi takes pity on them.

Well, some pity.

They hand over the keys in guilty silence.

#

Tanaka hasn’t gotten a text from Noya all night. That’s a little abnormal any night, but given what happened after practice, it feels—catastrophically weird.

Tanaka’s face burns.

He moves from the kotatsu to the bed and back again, then back again _again_ , and then finally settles on the bed.

He lays back, his mind going a million directions and arriving nowhere.

Tanaka flips open his phone.

Nothing.

He navigates to Noya’s messages.

[we couldn’t answer them] He types. [what are we?]

He presses send before he can second guess himself, then feels his stomach roll.

What is he doing with Noya? How long does it last? Is it a high school phase? Is it anything at all?

It had never needed an answer or a description before. He’s not sure why it needs one now, but it feels inexplicably important.

It hadn’t needed anything before. Or had it? What had he been doing, dragging stories out of Suga and Daichi?

His phone chirps.

Noya has sent the very unambiguous reply: [you’re my bf]

Tanaka stares at it. Types back. [since when???]

Noya’s answer is immediate. [since right now!]

Tanaka wonders what to say to that. He wonders what to _feel_ about that.

Finally, he types back: [i don’t remember being consulted]

There’s a longer pause, then finally: [Tanaka-sensei, in your expert opinion, are we boyfriends? What’s the diagnosis?]

Tanaka snorts. Decides to play along.

[It’s terminal.]

[til death do us part, huh? that's intense, doc]

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, dear reader!! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Please come say hello to me [@meribiaa](http://twitter.com/meribiaa) on twitter!


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